15/8/10 Day 280. I have never been so scared.... never, ever..

Another tough week.
Monday - Curriculum day (No school)
Tuesday - Owen went back to school for one day
Wednesday - Day Oncology, 2 Chemos including the dreaded double injection into the thighs. Blood counts are down, so 2 bags of blood are ordered. Only enough time for one today. Home late.
Thursday - Grandad is down, looking after Luke who is too unwell to go to school. Lee leaves with Owen for Day Oncology for his next blood transfusion (4th bag in 8 days). I take over from Lee, then pass him onto Pappy to finish off and drop him home to Grandad,...(Did I mention logistic nightmare). Owen is fine.
2.30pm, Owen called Lee distraught, hands are hurting... He sounds tired and Lee insists that he rests.
Constantly checking up on him and when Lee gets home at 4.30, she could see that he has deteriorated..

Resusitation Room in Emergency - Scary place

He cannot talk clearly, and she could see the fear in his eyes. Ambulance is called.....

I am at Emergency when he arrives, and he is unloaded, smiling at me as if he is heavily sedated. He cannot walk, talk, cough, swallow saliva and communicates with hand signals taught to him by the Paramedics. I am stunned......... Owen has the most beautiful handwriting and this is deteriorating before our eyes until we cannot read it anymore. He cannot find letters on a laptop. We have been in Resusitation rooms before with Luke's epileptic fits and Mum's stroke and we are frightened. I pace out of Owen's sight wanting to tear the world apart. He has fought so hard and something is taking his dignity and his soul from us.. The fear.. Like watching a timebomb, with medics searching but confused. Cat scan clears bleeding on the brain (Likely as he has minimal platelets). Now the worry of a brain infection. Owen keeps going downhill. We are in luck as an oncologist is in and she comes down to check on him.
By process of elimination, he has the signs of a toxic reaction to chemo put into his spinal fluid..9 days earlier.. Rare, and unlikely to happen again. Reversible and he should recover withn 2-5 days.
She hops on Owen's bed, wraps her arm around him and explains this to him and Owen breaks down. He had been brave, fighting all his fears which are unfair for a child his age and she allowed him hope. The night was not over but we were all relieved.
7 am, next morning (13th of August - 9 month anniversary!), he smiles at me and says hello. His voice is back and we cuddle, elated.......
His recovery is like a miracle, but he is admitted anyway for observation and more testing.
Diagnosis is confirmed and he is released at 10am on Saturday morning. Like walking on a cloud.
Hopefully back to school tomorrow. Still have to watch him like a hawk.
These events heighten Owen's fears and worries....He is frightened of going to sleep... and wakes up, absolutely startled, calling for us, fearful of the disease that he carries.. Hopefully this will pass..